I remember sitting in my university’s ministry office when I first encountered this Bible passage. While in the thicket of an emotionally exhausting semester, I recall the sense of feeling calm and at peace with my life. Each word described where I was at in the middle of my first semester this year, and I think I had needed someone or something to put it into words. I knew I had been struggling for awhile to express where I was at. I was scared to admit to myself and to my community the place I was in. I feared my community would judge me or not want to hear my truth. Yet, this was not the case.
“You Surround Me With A Song”
I wanted to write about Galatians 4:7 because I felt it was the best way to articulate where I was at during this past semester. For those of you who don’t know me very well, I am susceptible to nurturing others. I over-apologize, and I struggle when it comes to saying “no” to people. A semester ago, I didn’t know this about myself. In fact, I thought I was great at self-advocating and speaking my mind. However, I found this to be untrue when I was overwhelmed in an unhealthy relationship in my life. Saying “no” in this relationship felt like trying to close the door on someone — it was challenging, and I didn’t have the heart/ nerve to do it. I watched my semester pass by, and I continued to reassure myself everything was “fine”. I am fine. Things aren’t great, but not all relationships are the best. It’s normal, and I am probably just over-analyzing.
“Till All My Fears Are Gone”
This scripture is also included in one of favorite worship songs, No Longer A Slave by Bethel. When I heard this song in the ministry office that day, I wanted to cry. I had never felt so comforted by a song before. I think for a long time I told myself that I didn’t want to speak up about my problems with this person because there was no need. The truth though was that I was fearful. I was fearful of how the person might react, I was fearful of how it would change things, and I was fearful of how others would view me. All of these things highlighted exactly why I should speak up. I was living in fear, and that is never a good indicator that things are “fine”.
“You Rescued Me, And I Will Stand”
One of the ways I connect with my faith best is by seeing God through others. Whenever I was feeling anxious or upset, my faith would be reaffirmed with the surrounding support. I was comforted by my family and friends in this semester, and I knew that I wasn’t walking alone. Like the song describes, I was no longer living in fear. Instead, I was living with faith and hope.
I Am Thankful
While this has certainly been a difficult semester, I am also thankful for it all. I learned so much about myself and how to advocate for my well being in a healthy way. I learned how to treat those in my life. I learned that friendship is not merely a conditional relationship— built on solely what benefits one person. Rather, it is unconditional.
In eighth grade, my teacher introduced the class to a prayer called “Do It Anyway” by Mother Theresa. I want to end on this prayer because I feel it reflects my present day mindset. I didn’t want to write this blog post to take away from someone else’s truth. I wanted write this post because this is a genuine and honest reflection of where I have been lately. I have found peace from the most recent semester, and I am seeking to reconcile with myself. As always, thank you for reading. It means a lot.